It has
come to your attention that something is terribly amiss with your spouse.
He just
hasn’t been himself lately. The happy-go-lucky guy you married is now a closed
book. He seems aloof and all his activities are shrouded in secrecy. He suffers
random bouts of mood swings. Communication is dwindling. He has become a
permanent fixture in front of his laptop and is irritable when disrupted.
It is
not uncommon to find out that he stayed up till the wee hours of the morning
doing God knows what on his laptop.
Whenever
you question his motives, he gets on the offensive. Your sex life is in a rut.
Hard as you try, he just doesn’t seem interested anymore.
That
sexy red lingerie doesn’t turn him on anymore. He avoids the marital bed like a
plague and always has a mouthful of excuses handy when you demand an
explanation. Your gut tells you that he is up to no good, but you can’t quite
put a finger on it. Is he having an affair? Highly unlikely. He has never been
much of the philandering type, and besides, he barricades himself indoors
whenever he is not at work.
A glance
at his Google search history gives you a little insight into his
‘extracurricular’ activity. Your worst fears are confirmed when you go through
his bookmarked sites. You have stumbled on a startling discovery, your husband
has a predilection for pornography! He has been locking himself up to visit
porn websites and adult chat rooms.
Further investigation leads you to his secret
stash. Volumes of pictures of women in various forms of undress. A
confrontation ensues. He breaks down and admits he is addicted to pornography.
At least he is not having an affair. Not a physical one anyway. But that
doesn’t make you feel any better. Your husband has been neglecting you for some
fake bimbos on the Internet!
You did
everything right. You followed those successful marriage self-help books to the
letter. Now it feels like your whole marriage was a charade. While he was
making love to you, he was probably thinking about his fantasy women. You can
bet your left foot that he most likely had a quick glance at his stash to get
in the mood.
What
constitutes addiction to pornography? The first indication of a pornography
addiction is withdrawal: both physically and emotionally. Porn addicts live in
a world of fantasy. They isolate themselves from the world so they can live out
their daydream. The deeper they delve into this horrible vice, the more deviant
their taste becomes. If you find yourself looking for pornography that would
have previously disgusted you, you are well on your way to becoming a porn
addict.
Just
like all other addictions, the first step is for the affected person to accept
that they have a problem and seek help immediately.
His porn
addiction stems from his own psychological issues that have nothing to do with
you. The best you can do is support him in his quest for rehabilitation. What
else would you do if you found out your partner is addicted to porn?
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